That’s a Lie!

NLP

is becoming more popular and there is a lot of interest being expressed in some of its techniques and practices but this being a good thing has its problems. Exactly, as some purported Social Media gurus out there who learn a little and peddle a lot, they can cause misconception.

The other day on a UK national digital radio station on a morning show the Jock, talking to his colleagues in the studio, as well as the unsuspecting listening audience said:

Yeah, if they look to the left , they’re lying!

An absolute case of a little learning becoming a dangerous thing!

Just for the record (every pun intended) and I hope of some use to you, if you are going to watch people and in particular their faces to glean what is going on with them …. Calibrate what they do!

There are generalisations that are used to explain how humans work but these are not to be used in a general way! …. Calibrate!

Look at the person you are listening to

Watch the person that you are in conversation with and notice the physiological patterns that they use repeatedly and then test them to confirm if what you glean is right.

I am not suggesting that you take the Dr. Cal Lightman approach of standing one foot from their face seemingly staring up their right nostril even if I do love that show!

Eye Accessing Cues

has also been referred to as Mind Reading.

Here is a generalised  way of explaining Eye Accessing Cues , based on looking at a typical Right Handed person:

EYES UP - If they look up they may be assembling pictures in their mind
EYES LEVEL to one side - If they look to the side they may be assembling sounds in their mind
EYES DOWN - If they look down then they may be assembling feelings in their mind or talking to themselves

The degree of how UP LEVEL or DOWN will vary on the person and the complexity or weight of the assembly … Calibrate!   Their eyes may flick slightly in a given direction or make a bold movement in that direction or something in between - we are all different.
We move in the ways that we have practiced most.

See what they do repeatedly with their eyes whilst in the conversation

Constructed versus Remembered

To make matters more complicated and this is where most of the misunderstanding occurs:
EYES UP RIGHT - if a person looks UP  to the RIGHT they may be constructing a picture
EYES LEVEL RIGHT - similarly if a person looks LEVEL  to the RIGHT they may be constructing a sound

They may be constructing. It does not mean that they are lying!

It could be that are thinking about what they may say next and trying it out in their mind first – like a dress rehearsal.

They may be lying but you must Calibrate – look at the repeating physiological patterns and test them by asking questions or making statements that presuppose an answer, for example

“I bet you always do that”
“That must be annoying”

EYES DOWN RIGHT – looking DOWN  to the RIGHT is where they may be assembling feelings: emotional, tactile, physiological 
– Try this: imagine what its like when you finger tips are frozen?  Where did your eyes go?

Generally speaking, eye movements to the left are remembered:

Eyes UP LEFT remembering a picture of what happened or what they saw
Eyes LEVEL LEFT remembering the sound of what happened or what they heard
Eyes DOWN LEFT talking to themselves

You could presuppose that a left handed person would use their brain in the opposite direction to a right handed person – be careful! They may not conform or may only conform in part. They may demonstrate a right handed person’s characteristics

Calibrate – look at the repeating physiological patterns and test them

BUT

Here is my best advice!
– Go with your gut instinct because your unconscious mind has listened and watched while you were running your conscious mind, doing the observing thing and that logical thing we do.

Be still, be quiet to allow your unconscious to guide you.

Oh, and the liar?

One of the most efficient way to test a lie is to ask the person to repeat the story backwards .. “Where did you say you were, just before that?” “What did you say a minute ago?”
The chances are that they would have constructed a story line forward in time with no memory of the events they describe, because they didn’t exist

Since they didn’t actually experience the event by taking in all the information that a real experience would have given to their senses they would find it difficult to construct the story in reverse unless they have rehearsed their story well.

Even then the lie will leak and you can detect it with practice.

NOW

wait until you get onto studying what people do with their heads yet alone the words they use! Here, we have only considered what they do with their eyes

Happy Calibrating and be careful of helpful Radio Jocks!

 

images used: Lie to Me fanpop.com
Pinocchio appears on may web sites but the original is probably from The Disney Company