Somebody posts a ‘Do you remember when xyz’ item on Facebook and I begin to experience joy.
I go for a beer with my old (familiar and old – LOL) and we natter and we become very enthusiastic about ‘the time when….’
Good old feelings arise.

Actually most of what we remember wasn’t quite like that.
We have confabulated elements of our memories. We shrunk them down, bits fell off and we stowed them away in our unconsciousness - be there such a place. Just like a zipped down file on a computer storage device. When we pulled the memories back out again the original events weren’t like that but we got to feel something that resembled a recollection – a re COLLECTION – of feelings
They are just feelings and repeatedly running the memories will initially intensify the joy (or whatever your emotion is) and then the intensity will transform into a different set of feelings or will dissipate.

In point of fact most bad memories got bad through practice – BAD PRACTICE!
and
most good memories got good through practice – GOOD PRACTICE!
It’s all Practice, practice, practice – whatever you practice, you will get skilled at
I may be misquoting him but Richard Bandler has said

“The best thing about the past is that it is over”.

Thinking about it that way and I have to agree.
It is how we experience what’s left behind that is important and what is left behind is not the actual event but a printed memory; an imprint. That’s emotional.
There may be physical scarring or damage but the emotional stuff is running the show.
PTSD – Post-traumatic stress disorder, no matter the event is the reaction to memories, even if it (the feelings) are suppressed. There are things that can be done using eye movement to change the emotional impact. I use Integral Eye Movement Therapy and I’ve watched the inexplicable occur as I’ve used it. I was so fascinated by it that trained to become a trainer in it!
For me Bad memories tend to lose their impact and I can keep reducing the intensity by repeating a bad memory in my mind and reducing the emotional impact deliberately. That’s not denial. It’s Adjustment! Just like using knobs and dials on a control panel.
Remember, whatever you resist will persist. Its change that is required not denial.
My control panel, is my mind:

I can change the pictures that I see in my mind
Push images away, shrink them down, and increase the size of images from good memories of the same event.
Change the where I see them to different positions
Turn sounds up and down.
Change the sounds of people’s voices – their tonality, the words they use. Make them sound like Mickey Mouse
I can change the intensity of the feeling – damp it down, crank it up.
I can change the words that I use to describe the event.

There really isn’t much that I can’t do in my mind, ask any good Neuro Linguistic Practitioner.
It really is like the old gag:
      “Its mind over matter – if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter”
There is also changing the enquiry you are having about the past:
      If you don’t like the answer you get, ask a better question!

And I can move my eyes in differing patterns while I remember the event and experience it changing.

What limits our experience is how we use our mind and our body. The ‘use’ is our spirit – how we inspire ourselves.
      It’s Mind, Body, Spirit, Practice and Communication

#JustSaying

---

According to Wikipedia:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confabulation

“Confabulation (verb: confabulate) is a memory disturbance, defined as the production of fabricated, distorted or misinterpreted memories about oneself or the world, without the conscious intention to deceive.[1] Confabulation is distinguished from lying as there is no intent to deceive and the person is unaware the information is false …..

Musical Motivation

I was just listening to Kiki Dee 'Loving and Free' from her Amoureuse album.

Isn't wonderful how music can remind us of forgotten or significant times ?
Each is times-tamped within us and it always seems to show up when it is most needed.

 

This track was significant to me when I was having a tough time emotionally as a young adult – I was , truth be known, lonely and scared about that.

The fabulous words to this song took me onto something else in my life. They motivated me and I didn’t realise it at the time.
I have never been lonely since and I rarely experience being scared as a bad thing, more so a motivator

NLP Practitioners' will recognise that as an Anchor.
Tunes like this and Pick Up The Pieces by the Average White Band (My waiting in Queues enjoying time anchor) are my Ear Worms

---

Bound, I am bound, like a knot on a string
Eager to be where my life can begin
Out of the shadow and into the sun
So many things that I should have done

I will untangle myself, so that I can see
I will untangle myself, everything will be
Loving and free

Bound I am bound, like a rope on a swing
Up in the air and then down again
Sure for the first time so clear in my mind
Wise to the feeling I gently unwind

---

Which music or tunes have driven you to a new experience?

Sources You Tube,  www.lyricsfreak.com and .wikipedia.org

Build a Good Practice practice practice

I was recently asked “How do I Build a Good Practice?” by two new comers to coaching. I answered Practice, practice, practice and more practice and at every level.
In other words practice all the time until it becomes unconscious so that you just BE a practitioner and what you practice just occurs whenever and wherever it is needed. Whatever your practice!

I sign up to many discussion groups and forums and online communities related to my practices. But I seem to come across one particular problem: Many contributors desire to prove that they know their subject and maybe, even worse, try to sell something based on that.
I understand the desire to exchange ideas but the problem is that the activity of practice and the learnings from practising, need to be taking place directly with people. Either face to face or one to one by phone or VOIP, rather than indirectly via a keyboard or keypad.

Learn by practising Being a practitioner is not about knowing techniques. It is about when and where. Unconsciously use the right technique that is needed and more importantly, take that technique and modifying it to match the needs of your client. True practitioners do not need to think what to apply and when. They just know what to do and when to do it. What to do if what they are doing is not working. How to switch and what to switch to…. and there is the point.

That takes practice.

When I mentor practitioners. One particular question often arises. How much should I charge?

 Here is an example of a typical conversation:

Practitioner “I am thinking of doing a weight loss programme”

Mentor Great! How many people, what format are you using, where, etc…?

Practitioner Oh, it’s for 10 people and …….……

Mentor How much are you charging?

Practitioner Oh, I am not charging. I need the practice.

Mentor You are a practitioner, that’s your job. You are there to practice.
You are not practicing to become something, you should continually practice to continue as a practitioner. A valuable practitioner

 

Actually, I believe that this should go one stage further. You need to practice so that you Become a valuable Servant.

What you charge should be based on a combination of the value to the client and what the client can afford.
I go as far to ask my clients what they are going to pay me.  And, having described what I am going to do, I will ask “How valuable would that be to you?”

The question is deliberate. It gives me a clue as to how the client values themself. The answer indicates what type of work and the amount of work that I will need to do.

Many practitioners price themselves too cheaply because they want to make their services available to as many people as possible. This is admirable. We are here to make a difference, to make people’s lot better BUT this is misplaced. It should not be about what the practitioner is charging, rather a combination of the value to the client and what the client can afford.
It is about the client, not the practitioner, which means everybody pays an appropriate price and in some cases the price is nothing!

If you undercharge some people they will perceive that your practice isn’t worth much and they won’t engage. If you overcharge others they will not engage either.
If your desire is to make you service easily available, charging the right amount is important.

Do not serve too many clients at one time.
That's right! Turn business down
You have to be fit to serve so conserving your energy is paramount.

If you wish to offer your services free then make money first from those that will pay you before you offer your services free of charge to those that cannot afford you
Only offer your services free of charge once you can afford to do so and always do your best work whether you are being paid or not.

Offering services free of charge to build up a reputation, rarely works. Practitioners can end up struggling and then can’t afford to market themselves. By all means offer samples of your work BUT....
No dough, no go!

If you need to practice something new you can offer free consultation via classified advertising sites like Gumtree.com and explain why you are asking for free clients. You can also advertise in the local press.

As far as I am concerned the purpose, whatever you practice, should be that
You are there to serve.

---

• Practice all the time
• Practice one to one
• Learn by practising
• Learn when and where
• BE a practitioner.
• Be valuable
• Be a valuable servant
• Ask “How valuable would that be to you?”
• Charge for the value that the client expects
• Turn business down
• Improve people’s lot
• Offer your services for free occasionally
• Always do your best work!
• No dough, no go!
• Serve.

Planning for disaster

‎"Most people plan by disaster. They think of what can go wrong and then they master it"

~Richard Bandler

Dr RICHARD BANDLER, Co-founder of Neuro Linguistic Programming and creator of Design Human Engineering(tm) and Neuro Hypnotic Repatterning(tm), has always been and remains at the very forefront of new technologies.
For the past thirty years, Richard has dedicated himself to developing new ideas tools, techniques and models for the advancement of human evolution. His genius as a trainer is world renowned.
Thousands of people provide testimony to his ability to help them to live their lives with greater happiness and freedom. He teaches with humour and joy and continues to care enough to share his newest discoveries with us.

Digging for Inspiration

by Pam Castillo

Some, inspire others by representing their message with such gusto and enthusiasm that it's contagious. It flows to those around them and to those whom they come in contact with. This is inspiration by association. It's not the real thing. It's fine while it's there, but it seldom survives a crisis or the test of time.

Imagine a a desert with no water. There are two ways to get water. One is to find a body of water elsewhere and dig trenches to carry that water to the desert. You can channel the water in but over time, the channels close off. If the water has to be brought from where water is to where it is not, it's a fragile arrangement and easily disrupted. Another way to get water in the desert is to dig. And dig deep enough and dig far enough until you find water that is native to that place itself. When you discover what is natural, or the resources within, there is no reason that it should ever be disrupted.

When you help others dig deep enough, far enough within themselves to find their reservoir of inspiration, it lasts. It stands the test of time. It's a wider, deeper truth and it is generative.

©2012 Pam Castillo

 

Pam Castillo is a Licensed NLP Trainer by the Society of Neuro-Linguistic Programming – Richard Bandler. Pam founded Clarity Institute, where for more than 12 years, she maintains a private practice for NLP Changework on personal development issues, health and healing and loving relationships.
Clarity Institute offers NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner certification courses and NLP workshops on a variety of topics in the Los Angeles area.

Read more about Pam at http://bit.ly/APClarity

Do the Change Clearly

Many times I have heard BE the change and not DO the change.  
Whereas I agree, that all change starts with a change of BEhaviour or a change in the way we are (being), when it comes to NLP, we very much focus on what people DO.

If what they DO works, then we can learn what they DO and install that in others that can benefit from DOing things that way. Its called eliciting strategies.

I was very interested to read Pam Castillo’s take on this; how the Kinesthetic does the work.

To understand this ask any top line sportsman how they achieve their precision and following on from a visualisation ahead of the play, they will feel the action as it happens ~ they feel the ball go into the net, the arrow into the target, the shot hit the target etc.

True

by Pam Castillo

I answered the phone that morning as usual; “Clarity Institute, this is Pam. The high pitched female voice on the other end rushed through her formalities with lightening speed and garbled articulation “this is Asfansiasishisahheia Berhansiaisibdkditai (It could have been Anita Bertan or about a thousand other possibilities. I could not understand her).

Exasperated and breathy she continued at the same fast pace; “I got your name from Richard Bandler’s website, I’m an NLP trainer and yeah, so, what is the most powerful NLP tool to use?”

Silence reigned as my eyes darted from left to right back and forth once or twice, my head tilted to the side as I wondered if I heard correctly - or - had I slipped into some alternate reality? You know, that place where time and space seem to separate and nothing and everything exist simultaneously confusing.

And then with the callers same lightening speed, I quipped back with one word. “Yes.”
A simple, well crafted statement to match the caller and the silliest question I’ve think I’ve ever been asked.

Her voice now had a slower pace, a deeper tone, a skipping, hesitating articulation and just as I planned, I calibrated a confusion as she spoke next: “uh- wha, what do you mean?”

And that’s when the call turned from comical to critical.

I asked her what was important to her about knowing *the most powerful NLP tool* . She told me it was “because I have a client coming here in less than an hour and I want to use THE most powerful tool of NLP to get the change.”

Let’s be clear. NLP has never been about the tools. I’ve heard Richard [Bandler] say many times, It’s not about the tools.

Yes, the tools and techniques of NLP are powerful, everyone of them is richly powerful. What makes them powerful, is the ability to connect. To connect to the unconscious process that is happening inside someone else's neurology. To connect at such rapid speeds that you can be a step ahead or more of someone else’s thinking and your own thinking so that you can make the decision while having extrasensory timing, a timing that others have not yet discovered. That is where one knows how and where to go next in making the desired changes.

That’s the edge a well trained and confident NLP’er has. That’s the power of NLP. It’s in the ability to connect to one’s unconscious mind and that of another’s to understand the neurology of what’s taking place to create and reveal which NLP tool to use and knowing why.

This happens so fast that if feels as natural as it does to say your own name. It happens organically, and withOut planning. It happens with talent, with experience and with a solid foundation of NLP. And it happens from having that “Go First” experience of consistently walking the walk and talking the talk of using NLP - every day in every way, to become the best you, you can be, long before you start a training career.

There is something metaphysically beautiful about watching a well trained and confident NLP’er with a solid foundation of skills -skills that have been installed. NOT taught like school, but someone who actually learned NLP by experiencing NLP with the NLP learning process as Dr. Richard Bandler developed.

It’s experiential and in my opinion, does not come from books or home study programs. When you really learn something it becomes part of every fibre of your being and it’s ageless, timeless and generative.

The call referenced here is an actual call I got this month.

I get these types and similar phone calls throughout the year. Year after year. I occasionally get students that enroll in my courses who are REtraining because their foundation is academic and not kinesthetic and they can nOt DO NLP.

Now whether it’s true or not, there is something of a magical energy a lot of people sense with respect to the creative genius and co-founder of NLP, Richard Bandler. I think there’s no coincidence that so many of these “help my NLP” calls start with “I got your name from The Society of NLP”.

NLP takes practice and the more you use it the better you get. It’s nOt about learning a bunch of things about NLP to teach the bones to others, it’s nOt about the jargon, the tools or the techniques. It’s about the ability to DO NLP and consistently get the results that makes the difference with confidence.

Pam Castillo is a Licensed NLP Trainer by the Society of Neuro-Linguistic Programming – Richard Bandler. Pam founded Clarity Institute, where for more than 12 years, she maintains a private practice for NLP Changework on personal development issues, health and healing and loving relationships.
Clarity Institute offers NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner certification courses and NLP workshops on a variety of topics in the Los Angeles area.

Read more about Pam at http://bit.ly/APClarity

The Heads up on Rapport

“So the Jock said to his unsuspecting listening audience:

Yeah, if they look to the left , they’re lying!”

That was in the blog post from 5th August and so was
“wait until you get onto studying what people do with their heads yet alone the words they use!”
and here it is. You see …

A nod’s as good as a wink

well sort of…...
Much is made of body matching to get into rapport with someone:
full body matching, half body matching, mirroring, etc. but actually it is much more simple than that!

Use your head

You don't have to sit in the same way as the person you are talking to
you don’t have to shape your body into a posture that they are using
you don’t have to follow their movements to get into rapport although it helps and sometimes there is no alternative, such as young love where you just have to mirror and match!

In "That's a Lie" we looked at what people do with their  eyes, which means we can also quickly glean what is their prime sense. Whether it is Visual or Kinaesthetic or Auditory or Gustatory/Olfactory.


It is fairly safe to assume that if a person repeatedly looks up, whilst in conversation, they are probably accessing remembered (Vr Visual remembered) or constructed images (Vc Visual constructed) and therefore, their strongest sense is probably Visual.

To gain rapport with a Visual you could start using visual words and upward eye movements also. BUT you MUST Calibrate – look at their repeating physiological patterns and test them.

What people do with sensual input is part of the way they use their Representational Systems - the systems they use to represent their reality (Sight, Sound, Touch,Smell, Taste and Self Talk)  and the sub modalities, which is how they use their senses  e.g. how bright, how sharp, how loud, etc.
Some people are “Digital”, which means that they offer very little sensual output.
Digitals don’t tend to use sensual words like “see”, “feel”, “sound” etc.
They tend to have a fixed gaze and they may appear to be “in a world of their own” (they are probably in trance).
If a Digital were to explain something in great detail, they would not notice that most of their audience falling asleep – anybody know a professor like that?
Since they offer  little sensual  output they receive little sensual engagement. If someone’s senses are not engaged, they usually go to sleep!

If you think Digitals are nerdy or offbeat, consider how someone who is sensually engaged, behaves, in particular, their language patterns.

I am high Visual so I say things like “do you SEE my point”, as if there is actually a physical sharp object floating in mid air that you can see!!!!!  Clearly illogical.
I am visually representing that I want to know that you understand.

In a conversation with a Digital, I  would get bored very quickly and start LOOKING around because I need visual stimulation quick!
The visual sense has the highest velocity (Sensual Bandwith as  David McCandless describes it in an earlier blog post ) 
I just couldn’t see the Digital’s point and I would probably end up LOOKING for Mischief

I can’t get into rapport through language or eye movement. Fortunately ….

Rapport is easy, all you need to do is use your head

Meet and Greet

as they say hello watch how they move their head

Do the same back

For example, they may flick their head up and down in a quick, small, nod and then swallow

Do the same back

They may throw their head slightly forward and tilt it downwards so that one of their eyes gets closer to you and is in slightly lower position than before. They may wink at the same time (the smooth talking Hello ladies manoeuvre )

Do the same back

Active and Passive

People use their heads in big movements or subtle movements. If they strongly agree they may nod their head strongly up and down – Active - or they may just wink once – Passive. You have to observe how they do Active and how they do Passive – Calibrate

Negative and Positive

Similarly Negative and Positive head movements are distinct like Active and Passive head movements, for example:
left to right and back again repeatedly (shaking one’s head) to represent disagreement - a negative response and upward and downwards (nodding) to represent yes – a positive response.
You have to observe how they do Negative and how they do Positive – Calibrate

Decision Making Strategies

Observe the series of head movements of people while they make decisions and you will usually find they move their heads in a particular pattern.

It may start by a look up to the right, switch to a look upwards to the left and then back again before looking down to their right, a Passive Positive movement of the head.
This pattern will usually the same for all decisions that they make but you have to observe how they do their Decision Making Strategy – Calibrate
Taking the above example, the person:

1. probably constructed a visual image (Vc they imagined how the result of the decision looks)
2. pictured a memory that relates to the decision (Vr)
3. checked that image against their constructed image (Vc)
4. asked themselves how they felt about their decision (Ai) and
5. finally nodded (Passive Positive) as they agreed with their decision

The advantage of observing someone’s decision making strategy is that you can physically make the same movement pattern if you want to influence them
i.e. hurry up or cause a decision when one needs to be made – i.e. they cause them to be in Rapport with you.

Past and Present Orientation

Similarly observe how someone uses their head whilst they relate to past events. 
Most people never actually tell you what happened. They tell you the story of what happened, which means their focus is internal and they are usually in a trance state.

They may tilt their head left, while they are speaking.
To interrupt their Past Trance subtly nod your head in the opposite direction - This is a suggestion to their unconscious that should step back into the present where you can suggest by your head movement that they need to make a decision by using Their Decision Making Strategy on them.
and there’s more ……..

image wikipedia

In a Word (and more) NOT

I was just thinking about Facebook Posts that I have read, a phone call that I made and something else that I read, in the last 24 hours

We all throw caveats into what we say (or write)

literally throw! Just like ‘Throw Away’ lines.

These lines are like Fishing Lines. We throw the line out because we are fishing for something.  Dr Phil et al, would say we are seeking a Pay Off and I think maybe a Let off is probably more frequent and possibly more accurate.

The great thing about language is it’s impact!
At whatever level, all language is a declaration of intent and that language comes out of us at such high speed. Although it has structure and logic and reasoning, most of it has to come from the unconscious thinking because it is simply too fast to be processed consciously and delivered simultaneously. Its a skill and

all skills are unconscious

You don’t think about the skilful things you do, you just do them.
Ever driven to a destination and when you got there you don’t remember driving there?
You exercised your driving skill. You didn’t think about it.

BUT the great thing about the Caveat is its negativity, because 

the unconscious cannot process negatives

That happens in your conscious thinking, not your unconscious thinking.

As an example, let’s review a typical greeting conversation:
"How are you?”
"I’m not too bad” – there’s the Caveat.

The person uses badness as the measure just in case things go wrong. They declared a expectation that because things are (based on) bad then if things go bad its ok. Its a Let Off. They can’t be disappointed if things go wrong because they were almost expecting it.

What does the unconscious process?

Because it doesn't process the negative ‘not’, it processes
"I’m not too bad”  
That person just told themself that they are too bad

So why is this useful?

Because, if the unconscious cannot process negatives and all skills are unconscious then effective use of negatives can programme us positively!

Try these:
"How are you?”
"I’m not too good” – strange how saying that you are not too good, feels good.  Have you ever noticed that?

"How are you?”
"I’m not too happy” – makes you feel happy just saying that you’re not. Have you ever noticed that?

How are you?”
"I’m not too wealthy” – notice how rich that feels.
It is a ‘Pattern Interrupt’. It’s not in the normal pattern of conversation. It  interrupts it. The brain picks out ‘not’ and ‘too’ for attention but the conversation has moved on so the abnormal not and too  hang around in the conscious waiting to be  processed.
Unconsciously you hear “I’m too wealthy”. That is an unusual thing to say and has to be processed so it can be understood. You’ve just programmed yourself because

effective suggestions are skilfully delivered to the unconscious, unconsciously

To the other party you are too wealthy and that doesn’t make sense. What does too mean? That hangs around in their mind with an association between you and wealth, whilst they try to work it out.  Since they are unlikely to have the time to think about it long enough and there are more important things to think about, it will probably stick.

The word too is too general to be given a value and so the part that they do understand is left behind – I’m wealthy

To them You are wealthy because ultimately they won’t process the rest because it’s confusing and they haven’t got time.

So, how am I today? I’m NOT having too much fun

How are you? 

images wikipedia and photobucket.com

Showing up

“God does not ask your ability, nor your inability. God only asks your availability”

~ Mary Kay Ash
founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics

80 per cent of success is just showing up

It was  Woody Allen  who said "80 per cent of success is just showing up".

Over the years I have had many ‘almost appointments’ - appointments where a potential client wants help with their problem but as soon as it comes to booking a time, those  fearful words: “I’ll look at my diary and get back to you” are uttered and of course, I know that they won’t (Yet!)

However, they should be congratulated on taking a first step towards confronting their fear – because that is what it is and fear as Neale Donald Walshe says is

“False Evidence Appearing Real”

The tragedy is that by not  showing up wherever the things that confront you, deprives you off an experience that is no where near as scary as you may think and if I get to play with you ( FUN! When I say Play I mean play time ) we are going to have fun!

But Real joy comes when Fear turns to Fascination!

We all have Fear of some description. It is part of survival and shouldn’t be taken lightly!

However, Just  showing up in the place of fear, as opposed to confronting fear allow for easy and effortless and permanent changes to happen.

Clearly work has to be done but it is how it is done that is the most important element of all. Lets try ….

FUN!

There are common fears, such as the fear of Public Speaking, the fear of Heights, the fear of Snakes, the fear of Spiders

There are many ways to dispel fear. The most famous is the  Fast Phobia Cure which can be used to combat simple fears also.
It is painless and usually very amusing to the client – basically we re-programme how they use the information that they receive from their senses. 
There are a number of versions but generally it works like this:

Get person to imagine being in a cinema
Ask them to vividly imagine everything they can about going to the cinema – the sights, sounds, smells... is the smell of popcorn coming to you, right now? … feelings, tastes … still thinking of popcorn, by any chance?
Remember as a child, being excited about going to the cinema … can you remember one now?

(  Did you notice that question was actually a statement – a command. We are cranking up the senses. There’s good stuff to come! )

Get person to imagine taking seat in the cinema – “notice how it feels, notice the sounds and the smells and the other people” etc. etc.

( crank up the senses even more because there is great stuff to come! )

“Notice how you feel. Warm, cosy, excited … Can’t wait for the movie to start! … and just notice how safe you are! … Can’t wait for the movie to start … Bet you are feeling really excited right now!

( note the command )

”Now look at the screen and imagine your self back at the time when you were first scared of a spider”…  Right here, right now, You’re perfectly safe ….
Imagine yourself in the movie and notice how safe you are … Play the movie forwards to the end and notice how safe you were at the end of the movie … just like you were safe at the beginning … Just like you are now!”

“Now play the movie backwards, things always look funny when they run backwards, just like the old movies.
Play the movie forwards again … and backwards … and forwards … and backwards”

( I love pushing this exercise almost to the limit, repeating until I hear a laugh or a giggle or at least see a smile )

“Hold on! I’ve got some great music for our movie!”

I reach for my iPod, plug in into my speakers. Find Yakety Sax by Boots Randolph– The theme tune of The Benny Hill Show.

“Imagine floating out of your seat into the screen so you are in the movie now … Notice how safe you are”

( the commands flow quicker and more often - “You are Safe!”)

I grab my remote and issue the command “Play the movie Forwards!”
I hit play – the music starts
I hit pause – “Stop! Quick run the movie backwards!” … I hit play
I hit pause …  “Stop! Play it forwards”
I hit play … “Stop!” … I hit pause
”Backwards! Quickly!” … I hit play
”STOP!” … I hit pause
”FORWARDS! QUICKLY!” … I hit play
“Backwards” .. “forwards” .. “backwards” .. “forwards” … allowing less and less time for the movie to run. By this stage they will be running the movie at double speed if not quicker!

“NOW! Float out of the movie back to your seat and run the movie” … I play the
music …
“NOW! Backwards! Watch yourself in the movie” … “Forwards Watch yourself” …
“Backwards. Watch yourself!” ……. etc etc

“AND float out of you seat into the projectionist room” … “You are the projectionist” …
“Start the movie” … “Run it backwards Watch yourself watching yourself” … “Forwards Watch yourself watching yourself”
Watch yourself watching the movie!
”Backwards” … “Forwards” … “Watch yourself” … “backwards” … “forwards” … “Keep watching yourself!”

( By this stage I’m usually laughing, they are usually laughing and my thumb hurts! )

“Backwards” .,. “Forwards” … “NOW! Float back to your seat!”
”Play it backwards” … “forwards” … “backwards” … “forwards” etc etc …. “AND STOP!”

I kill the music … there is silence … “How do you feel?”

Whilst the whole process has gone on, every time I’ve seen a smile of heard a laugh I have touched the client on the arm or shoulder, somewhere that is not intrusive, anchoring the good feeling and at the same time laughed or made a comedic noise.

At this stage just by making the comedic noise I can usually invoke a smile or laugh at will.

The brain cannot run fear and laugh at the same time successfully  – I know the job is done when the client wants to go find a spider and that happened more than once!

So, How are you feeling now? Did you take yourself through the process?

Just show up!

your senses probably gave you some false evidence

 

images AyPeeCo and talkbackthames.tv

That’s a Lie!

NLP

is becoming more popular and there is a lot of interest being expressed in some of its techniques and practices but this being a good thing has its problems. Exactly, as some purported Social Media gurus out there who learn a little and peddle a lot, they can cause misconception.

The other day on a UK national digital radio station on a morning show the Jock, talking to his colleagues in the studio, as well as the unsuspecting listening audience said:

Yeah, if they look to the left , they’re lying!

An absolute case of a little learning becoming a dangerous thing!

Just for the record (every pun intended) and I hope of some use to you, if you are going to watch people and in particular their faces to glean what is going on with them …. Calibrate what they do!

There are generalisations that are used to explain how humans work but these are not to be used in a general way! …. Calibrate!

Look at the person you are listening to

Watch the person that you are in conversation with and notice the physiological patterns that they use repeatedly and then test them to confirm if what you glean is right.

I am not suggesting that you take the Dr. Cal Lightman approach of standing one foot from their face seemingly staring up their right nostril even if I do love that show!

Eye Accessing Cues

has also been referred to as Mind Reading.

Here is a generalised  way of explaining Eye Accessing Cues , based on looking at a typical Right Handed person:

EYES UP - If they look up they may be assembling pictures in their mind
EYES LEVEL to one side - If they look to the side they may be assembling sounds in their mind
EYES DOWN - If they look down then they may be assembling feelings in their mind or talking to themselves

The degree of how UP LEVEL or DOWN will vary on the person and the complexity or weight of the assembly … Calibrate!   Their eyes may flick slightly in a given direction or make a bold movement in that direction or something in between - we are all different.
We move in the ways that we have practiced most.

See what they do repeatedly with their eyes whilst in the conversation

Constructed versus Remembered

To make matters more complicated and this is where most of the misunderstanding occurs:
EYES UP RIGHT - if a person looks UP  to the RIGHT they may be constructing a picture
EYES LEVEL RIGHT - similarly if a person looks LEVEL  to the RIGHT they may be constructing a sound

They may be constructing. It does not mean that they are lying!

It could be that are thinking about what they may say next and trying it out in their mind first – like a dress rehearsal.

They may be lying but you must Calibrate – look at the repeating physiological patterns and test them by asking questions or making statements that presuppose an answer, for example

“I bet you always do that”
“That must be annoying”

EYES DOWN RIGHT – looking DOWN  to the RIGHT is where they may be assembling feelings: emotional, tactile, physiological 
– Try this: imagine what its like when you finger tips are frozen?  Where did your eyes go?

Generally speaking, eye movements to the left are remembered:

Eyes UP LEFT remembering a picture of what happened or what they saw
Eyes LEVEL LEFT remembering the sound of what happened or what they heard
Eyes DOWN LEFT talking to themselves

You could presuppose that a left handed person would use their brain in the opposite direction to a right handed person – be careful! They may not conform or may only conform in part. They may demonstrate a right handed person’s characteristics

Calibrate – look at the repeating physiological patterns and test them

BUT

Here is my best advice!
– Go with your gut instinct because your unconscious mind has listened and watched while you were running your conscious mind, doing the observing thing and that logical thing we do.

Be still, be quiet to allow your unconscious to guide you.

Oh, and the liar?

One of the most efficient way to test a lie is to ask the person to repeat the story backwards .. “Where did you say you were, just before that?” “What did you say a minute ago?”
The chances are that they would have constructed a story line forward in time with no memory of the events they describe, because they didn’t exist

Since they didn’t actually experience the event by taking in all the information that a real experience would have given to their senses they would find it difficult to construct the story in reverse unless they have rehearsed their story well.

Even then the lie will leak and you can detect it with practice.

NOW

wait until you get onto studying what people do with their heads yet alone the words they use! Here, we have only considered what they do with their eyes

Happy Calibrating and be careful of helpful Radio Jocks!

 

images used: Lie to Me fanpop.com
Pinocchio appears on may web sites but the original is probably from The Disney Company

Bigger, Brighter, Bolder

This article is By Brian P Lewis and appears at EzineArticles.com

Its a perspective on teaching that occurred to me in the opposite way: 
when I teach I learn.

It is the change in position and perspective  from which you listen, see, smell, taste, touch and discuss with yourself.

• For starters the words flow out from you to external listeners and not inside to yourself.
• Your tonality is probably different and you need to emphasise differently so that you talk into someone else’s listening.
  
• Your body posture is active or different when you talk externally and your awareness is on both internal and external elements – Visual, Auditory, Kinaesthetic, Olfactory and even Gustatory

All in in all your senses are more actively engaged and the reality you experience is that much bigger. Therefore the experience richer!

As I have heard so many times, from Paul McKenna and many others in the NLP fraternity:  “Bigger, Brighter, Bolder”

---

Have a Big, Bright and Bold day and see, hear, smell, taste and touch what you learn, because you did

What would you like this to procrastinate about this week?

I got into conversation with my niece on Facebook as result of a weekly Tweet and Facebook posting that I put out each Sunday:

“What would you like this week?”

It was an excellent opportunity to intervene and cause change, triggered by my friend and allowing me to communicate with her unconscious mind.

Logically, she has been processing something consciously in the same way over and over, whereas the action she needs to take does not require her to think about how she should approach the decision, rather just fulfil her decision to do whatever it is she decided to do.

By using double negatives the brain has to go searching to understand the process as well as the decision and the double negation also ’Reframes*’ the thinking about the event.

* “A frame can refer to a belief, what limits our view of the world. If we let this limiting belief go, new conceptions and interpretation possibilities can develop” ~ Wikipedia
image memphisflyer.com

 

Here’s the conversation

my Niece responded  “I would like to stop procrastinating!!!”

my friend responded  “What is stopping you from not procrastinating?”
I asked  “Do you ever procrastinate at procrastinating?”

the conversation continued:

“Rarely, unfortunately!!!”

"Then you do not always procrastinate. So taking my friend’s question: what is stopping you from not procrastinating?”

“Being lazy maybe :(”

“So being lazy is stopping you from procrastinating, which means you work hard at procrastinating.
Isn't that tiring? I bet you feel tired now”

“My laziness is the cause of my procrastination! Ha ha should I be asleep now :)”

“No, being lazy is not allowing you to procrastinate. Right?”

“I guess procrastinating is pretty lazy, so doesn't it stem from my laziness??”

“No you are never lazy when you come to procrastinate and you are lazy when you don't procrastinate - get it?”

“No, all these double negatives are beyond me!! Are you saying that procrastinating isn't lazy because it means you plan to do something (even if it takes you a while to get round to doing it...)??”

“Yes, it takes lots of effort to procrastinate and a lot less effort NOT to procrastinate
So, actually, while you are procrastinating you are not being lazy, you are just wasting effort. It is just a bum choice.
Just Do It because it takes much less effort than Not doing it”

“Oh,  I see you were saying that it takes a lot of effort to procrastinate. Get it now!!! I stopped procrastinating after a few hours, so have done what I need to do now !!:)”

Her mother added  “oooohhh my poor head! lol” (- Can you guess what is happening with mother now?)

Kinetic Typography

I recently posted the following video to my Facebook page:

This video has it all!

Brilliant Art

The video is the work of Matt Rogers, freelance graphics artist and web developer  from Perth, Western Australia.

Brilliant Language

The content absorbs me. I am a coach and trainer who practices Neuro Linguistic Programming and I enjoy language!

Stephen Fry

a master of language and when he uses his skill, just like he does in this video, I am hooked!

Nominalisation

NLP Practitioners are fully aware of the impact of Nominalisations (turning Verbs into Abstract Nouns). The trouble is that most people ‘label’ themselves with nominalisations, applying nominalisations to their lives -
- they say say things like: “I am a XYZ”. What they mean is that they have done XYZ, in the past.

This has them be stuck with an identity – trapped by their own words!

Matt Rogers

Matt is the creator of http://rogerscreations.com
Currently at Curtin University,  just outside Perth, studying Urban and Regional Planning, Matt has always created websites and drawings and is using  his web site to showcase how he has begun to take them more seriously.

His website “is here to show and symbolise that”.
Rogers Creations was created in August 2010 with the goal of creating and sharing high class designs and knowledge, with the aim of providing free web design advice and as a personal blog.

Matt says “I am looking forward to what this website will develop and evolve into and I hope that you join me for the ride”

For the Technically Minded

Matt is a big fan of Adobe Products and often uses Flash, After Effects, Illustrator, Photoshop and Dreamweaver which are all available (except for Dreamweaver) in the Adobe Creative Suite.

Fascination

Why does the video fascinate and absorb me so? -
- Because it has extremely high quality and (excuse me) because of the verbalisation of nouns – What that be then?

An antinomilisation?

Excellent Job Matt!

related sites stephenfry.com  rogerscreations.com  adobe.com