Thursday, 29 December 2011

Pub life

Bar room door glass iStock_000015977274XSmallA man walks into a bar and asks the bar man for a pint.

Whilst the bar man is pours the pint, he sees a dish full of peanuts sitting on the counter. As he looks, the peanuts say to him “you’re nice”. The man, surprised by what he just heard, sinks down into a seat next to the cigarette machine. As he does so , the cigarette machine says to him “you’re horrible”

Astonished by what he just heard, he tells the bar man,  who explains:

“That’s ok sir, the peanuts are always complementary and the cigarette machine is out of order”

source various

Sunday, 25 December 2011

Active belief

Henry Valentine Miller

 

"What distinguishes the majority of men from the few is their ability to act according to their beliefs"

~ Henry Miller

Born December 26, 1891 died June 7, 1980
American novelist and painter.
He wrote novels containing fiction, autobiography, social criticism, philosophical reflection, surrealist free association, and mysticism.

Author of  Tropic of Cancer (1934), Black Spring (1936), and Tropic of Capricorn (1939)

sources wikipedia

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

To be or not to be Social

I see blog post after blog post about exploiting Social Media and most are dullDice with interogatives Questions iStock_000017184468XSmall
Is Social Media about being Social or is it about the Media?  What is your opinion?

Saturday, 17 December 2011

A Snail’s Pace

There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datsun 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S".

The dealer asks, "Why 'S'?"

The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving."

Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail, so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee.

The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"

Source Jokes and image various

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Daring compro-misery

I particularly liked the following quote because I don’t believe in compromise.
I am not saying that I won’t compromise but I do believe neither party finds compromise satisfactory (effectively both lose out). The answer comes in creating new options and then maybe the original requirements may fit or something even better.
One can only truly create from nothing, i.e. the unconscious state. Answers and ideas just occur when you allow them to do so. The courage to implement them comes from launching them without the platform of logic or reason and allowing these to follow on.

iStock_000016772711XSmall Jumping of hi board lower legs only
Whatever there be of progress in life comes not through adaptation but through daring, through obeying the blind urge.

Henry Miller
source various

Friday, 9 December 2011

Stor: ies / eys / ed ties

It's all a story!
Sometimes words just show up and I find myself playing with them.
I try to break them, reconstruct them, see what else I can do with them, look for the ambiguity in them ………… and always have fun with them …. to see where my logic takes me.

As a child, I was fortunate enough to have had parents that told me stories at bedtime and  on occasions during the day, stimulating my imagination and creating my reality. Kids just play and what they do is live out what adults would call Unreal situations in a very real way.

I decided about 11 years ago that Santa Claus is real and I am looking forward to him visiting my house again this year – this may be a problem since I haven’t been good this year but when I’m bad, I am probably at my best!  ;-D
and
I don’t think it helped, when I said a few years back: “I don’t care who you are! You are not parking that thing here!”
So what about stories?
STORIES ARE EVERYWHERE
ALL THE TIME

Newspapers carry stories. TV News present stories. Theatres play stories. The film industry makes millions from creating and selling stories. Authors.. painters …artists… gift their stories to the world.
When we communicate with each other we tell a story as soon as we can get it into the conversation, to  illustrate what we are saying. Yeah Right! We probably just can’t help ourselves; we are compelled to do it.
Social media is full of stories and most technology is there to support the creation and telling of stories.

So, what's the story?
My Life Is A Story (and so is yours)
a simple story developed by stacking stories on top of stories into storeys and the dangerous thing is when the simple story becomes a stored tie. We can get tied into a story that we constructed and then fix our reality to it, losing the flexibility of the imaginative child, that we always were and will probably always be.

Personally, I believe we are designed to forget contrary to the view of a good friend of mine, who believes we are designed to remember.Young couple sitting on sofa and dreaming That’s one entity with 2 perspectives or at least that’s my story.

The great thing about stories is that they are all made up and if your life is a story and you made it up, then you can make up what you like from NOW on.  We all do it anyway.

Take, as an example 2 old boys in the pub (actually my mate Rob and I. We are both young sexagenarians and we have known each other for 50 years) recalling the time that we went to The Alexandra Palace ‘Love In’ :
Do you remember going the the Ally Pally ‘Love-in’ in  Pat’s Austin Westminster?
We didn't, we took the train!
We can’t of done! We went to Waterloo Station first and drove up to Wood Green.
That wasn't Waterloo! That was Charing Cross and we caught the tube!
Same event, 2 different stories.
The point being,  because the detail gets forgotten, the story won’t run and each of us has plugged the gaps with our own detail so the story can run – we have Confabulated

According to Miriam Webster Free Dictionary:
“Fabricate imaginary experiences as compensation for loss of memory”

So, here's the deal:
Since all (life) stories are based on PAST events, we have to recall them and actually recreate them NOW. The detail, or lack of it, is stored in different areas of our brain and we have to pull it all together to be able to present it as fact …… which it isn’t,  since we will probably have confabulated so that the construction can be complete.

Its not what happened. It is the story of what happened - a sensual representation of events. We would have deleted, distorted and generalised our experience.

If I were to tell you my life story in full detail, it would take more than 61 years to tell. Before  I would have finished I would have died and you would be bored witless!!
So, as a matter of course, I have to delete, distort and generalise.

You can hold great store by that

"Create your own adventure because experience is all that there is" Ⓒ ~ Arthur Partridge AyPeeCo

Monday, 5 December 2011

Friendship

iStock_000001434367XSmall Man in Jail looking sideways through bars

 

A good friend will bail you out of jail.
A great friend will be in the cell next to you saying,"Wow, that was fun!"

 

 

 

Source various

Thursday, 1 December 2011

Human Inspirations: Empowering Belief Systems

Human Inspirations: Empowering Belief Systems: There are two things you must know about beliefs : That they are neutral and they are the building blocks of our growth. This is extreme...

Gifted

I am sure that sometimes scriptwriters write gems without realising it.
Here is one from the TV series Eli Stone

 

“A gift is something that is given, you don’t own it.
The World does.
The World is asking you to use it
and you don’t get to say no,
no matter how much you might want to”

~ Eli Stone

I appreciate the sentiment. I believe it is our job to contribute and serve and to receive an appropriate reward for doing so.

Eli Stone (TV Series 2008–2009)

American TV series and name of the title character, played by Scot, Jonny Lee Miller.

Eli Stone is a lawyer in San Francisco, who suffers from a brain aneurysm which causes him to have visions, usually about the future and which lead him to take on cases where he is of best use and morally right.

His predictions save lives and he becomes a recognised prophet in his community.

The series was created by Greg Berlanti and Marc Guggenheim and aired on ABC from January 2008 through to July 2009.
It is currently being broadcast by Sky, in the UK.

Image from Wikipedia

Sunday, 27 November 2011

Loopy Tweeting Ambiguity

The problem with Tweeting is the amount of characters available to you
at 140 it is even less than a SMS (mobile phone text message)!

So, how then, can one use Tweets to be able to influence somebody?

There has been a long debate as to whether Hypnosis exists or if it is all just suggestion.

CaptureDerren Brown talks about this in his book ‘Tricks of the Mind’ although there is recent evidence which shows the existence of Hypnosis as a specific state in the brain.

In hypnosis one seeks to influence.

Using the style of Milton Erickson one can be Artfully Vague so that the subject fills in the elements as the hypnotist suggests
for example … “Now, I don’t know if you are thinking of the sky or even if there are clouds or even if the sun is high in the sky or how bright it may be….”

The Hypnotist does not actually know what the subject is thinking about.

Nevertheless, the hypnotist has suggested that the subject think of a bright sunny day. He cant make the subject think of those things but there is a good chance that the subject will.
The fact the Hypnotist goes on to describe what may be in the sky presupposes that there is a sky and the subject is thinking about it.

There are all manner of techniques to suggest tings to a subject, you only have to look a TV ads to get that!

Look at the adverts for Smokers Patches or gum where words like “… the next time you…” are used.  No presupposition or suggestion there then!

One can Analogue Mark out certain words or phrases by pausing slightly before uttering them – the subject’s unconscious mind will pick up the difference whilst their rational mind will push on making sense of the words.

Lowering the tone of voice as words are spoken can command the subject to follow
for example “As you sit there you can |relax now |…. ”
Again the unconscious picks up the commands whilst the conscious continues to make sense of the words.

It is ambiguous. One meaning is processed one way by the conscious and another meaning processed by the unconscious.

There are many techniques, these are just some.

Oh yes … I digressed!

So, how then, can one use Tweets to be able to influence somebody?

Or did I?

I opened a loop, a while ago to preoccupy  your conscious mind  and now I have just closed it.
If I wanted to, I could nest loops inside of loops. All designed to preoccupy the conscious mind, whilst I make suggestions to the unconscious mind. Actually, I stacked 2 loops together – note how Ambiguity, appearing in the blog post title was incomplete until I described how the words  |relax now | were being used.

Ever had a friend who said “We must go for a drink and catch up….” ?
They never book a time. Notice how that hangs around because it is incomplete. It is an open loop.

Now, here’s the problem.

How can you embed suggestions successfully into a 140 character tweet?

Wednesday, 23 November 2011

Beneviolent Law

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $700,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

Scales of Justice on Family Law Book iStock_000014647238XSmallThe lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

source various

Saturday, 19 November 2011

In the end we only regret chances we didn't take


In the end we only regret chances we didn't take.The relationships we were scared to have and the decisions we waited too long to make. There comes a time in your life when you realise who matters, who doesn't, who never did and who always will

Dice with Ball and Chain iStock_000014503282XSmall

 

This is actually a name of a  Facebook group and as of 18th November, 2011 there were 1,314,777 people who liked the page and 7,367 who are talking about it.
Apart from that there are no other entries on the page.

I guess it says it all

 

According to Yahoo Answers, Irlanda reports that the quote is incomplete and should say:

"In the end we only regret the chances we didn't take, the relationships we were scared to have and the decisions we waited too long to make. There comes a time in your life when you realise who matters, who doesn't, who never did and who always will. So don't worry about the people from your past, there's a reason they didn't make it to your future"

Bio-nana121 reports finding the phrase at http://gothgirl.glogster.com/In-The-End/ but that link is broken

 Wikipedia and Wikiquote don’t register it and shareaquote don’t attribute it either

 

A Truism and a Mystery

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

The Meaning of Life is NOT

It was my pleasure to be ChatviewedTM by The English Sisters on 14th November.

They are very skilled Hypnotists, with their very own and unique Hypnorambling style so I guess it was inevitable that we would end up with a Trance Out . After all, Hypnotists do love to practice!

I’d like to say that I won, but I can’t remember  Confused smile

 

Find the English Sisters at http://www.englishsisters.com/ and http://www.hypnoramblings.com/
You can find their upcoming book at http://amzn.to/uB5M0c

Saturday, 12 November 2011

Lost Senior Citizen

I noticed an old man sitting on a park bench sobbing his eyes out.  I stopped and asked him what was wrong.

   He told me, “I have a 22 year old wife at home.  She rubs my back every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee”

I continued, “Well, then why are you crying?”

Senior Man Sitting on a Park Bench   He added, “She makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favourite biscuits, cleans the house and hen watches sports TV with me for the rest of the afternoon”

I said, “Well, why are you crying?”

   He said, “For dinner she makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favourite dessert and then we cuddle until the small hours”

I inquired, “Well then, why in the world would you be crying?”


He replied, “I can't remember where I live”

 

source various

Sunday, 6 November 2011

Schooling

You may leave school, but school never leaves you

~ Andy Partridge

Said by Dr. Spencer Reid in ‘Criminal Minds’ episode 4 series 7

Andy Partridge

Andrew John Partridge
English singer, songwriter, and guitarist.
Founding member and  songwriter of new wave band  XTC

Friday, 28 October 2011

Let Go Of Your Fears And Fly

 

You don't have to run  a big business, fly a balloon, or break records in a boat to learn from and use the lessons I learned. Your goal can be small. Student magazine was very small at first. I sold space in it from a payphone at school because I believed I could and would do it. If something is what you really want to do, just do it. Whatever your goal is you will never succeed unless you let go of your fears and fly

~ Richard Branson

Monday, 24 October 2011

Do the Change Clearly

Many times I have heard BE the change and not DO the change.  
Whereas I agree, that all change starts with a change of BEhaviour or a change in the way we are (being), when it comes to NLP, we very much focus on what people DO.

If what they DO works, then we can learn what they DO and install that in others that can benefit from DOing things that way. Its called eliciting strategies.

I was very interested to read Pam Castillo’s take on this; how the Kinesthetic does the work.

To understand this ask any top line sportsman how they achieve their precision and following on from a visualisation ahead of the play, they will feel the action as it happens ~ they feel the ball go into the net, the arrow into the target, the shot hit the target etc.

True

by Pam Castillo

I answered the phone that morning as usual; “Clarity Institute, this is Pam. The high pitched female voice on the other end rushed through her formalities with lightening speed and garbled articulation “this is Asfansiasishisahheia Berhansiaisibdkditai (It could have been Anita Bertan or about a thousand other possibilities. I could not understand her).

Exasperated and breathy she continued at the same fast pace; “I got your name from Richard Bandler’s website, I’m an NLP trainer and yeah, so, what is the most powerful NLP tool to use?”

Silence reigned as my eyes darted from left to right back and forth once or twice, my head tilted to the side as I wondered if I heard correctly - or - had I slipped into some alternate reality? You know, that place where time and space seem to separate and nothing and everything exist simultaneously confusing.

And then with the callers same lightening speed, I quipped back with one word. “Yes.”
A simple, well crafted statement to match the caller and the silliest question I’ve think I’ve ever been asked.

Her voice now had a slower pace, a deeper tone, a skipping, hesitating articulation and just as I planned, I calibrated a confusion as she spoke next: “uh- wha, what do you mean?”

And that’s when the call turned from comical to critical.

I asked her what was important to her about knowing *the most powerful NLP tool* . She told me it was “because I have a client coming here in less than an hour and I want to use THE most powerful tool of NLP to get the change.”

Let’s be clear. NLP has never been about the tools. I’ve heard Richard [Bandler] say many times, It’s not about the tools.

Yes, the tools and techniques of NLP are powerful, everyone of them is richly powerful. What makes them powerful, is the ability to connect. To connect to the unconscious process that is happening inside someone else's neurology. To connect at such rapid speeds that you can be a step ahead or more of someone else’s thinking and your own thinking so that you can make the decision while having extrasensory timing, a timing that others have not yet discovered. That is where one knows how and where to go next in making the desired changes.

That’s the edge a well trained and confident NLP’er has. That’s the power of NLP. It’s in the ability to connect to one’s unconscious mind and that of another’s to understand the neurology of what’s taking place to create and reveal which NLP tool to use and knowing why.

This happens so fast that if feels as natural as it does to say your own name. It happens organically, and withOut planning. It happens with talent, with experience and with a solid foundation of NLP. And it happens from having that “Go First” experience of consistently walking the walk and talking the talk of using NLP - every day in every way, to become the best you, you can be, long before you start a training career.

There is something metaphysically beautiful about watching a well trained and confident NLP’er with a solid foundation of skills -skills that have been installed. NOT taught like school, but someone who actually learned NLP by experiencing NLP with the NLP learning process as Dr. Richard Bandler developed.

It’s experiential and in my opinion, does not come from books or home study programs. When you really learn something it becomes part of every fibre of your being and it’s ageless, timeless and generative.

The call referenced here is an actual call I got this month.

I get these types and similar phone calls throughout the year. Year after year. I occasionally get students that enroll in my courses who are REtraining because their foundation is academic and not kinesthetic and they can nOt DO NLP.

Now whether it’s true or not, there is something of a magical energy a lot of people sense with respect to the creative genius and co-founder of NLP, Richard Bandler. I think there’s no coincidence that so many of these “help my NLP” calls start with “I got your name from The Society of NLP”.

NLP takes practice and the more you use it the better you get. It’s nOt about learning a bunch of things about NLP to teach the bones to others, it’s nOt about the jargon, the tools or the techniques. It’s about the ability to DO NLP and consistently get the results that makes the difference with confidence.


Pam Castillo is a Licensed NLP Trainer by the Society of Neuro-Linguistic Programming – Richard Bandler. Pam founded Clarity Institute, where for more than 12 years, she maintains a private practice for NLP Changework on personal development issues, health and healing and loving relationships.
Clarity Institute offers NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner certification courses and NLP workshops on a variety of topics in the Los Angeles area.

Read more about Pam at http://bit.ly/APClarity

Friday, 21 October 2011

Jigsaw from Hell?

image A woman calls her boyfriend for help with a killer jigsaw puzzle. She just can't figure out how to get it started.

Himageer boyfriend asks: "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The woman says: "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."She shows him the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, looks at the box, then turns to her and says: "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says: "Second, I want you to relax.... let's have a nice cup of tea, and then.... he sighed, "...let's put all these Corn Flakes back in the box."

source various
Microsoft Clipart

Thursday, 20 October 2011

A Reuters article shared by my Facebook friend Rami Kantari:

.....strong connection between the number of Facebook friends and the amount of "grey matter" (he layer of brain tissue where mental processing occurs) in the amygdala http://bit.ly/qTul3G

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Bravo!




"Money is the silent applause for a job well done"

~ Peter Thomson

 

I recently spent a weekend attending Peter’s Product Creation GOLDMINE – it was a great weekend and extremely valuable. Above is one of Peter’s many quotes but notice that he does express success in money terms, rather it is an acknowledgement of the success – this is a common trait amongst many successful entrepreneurs

Saturday, 15 October 2011

It’s Time For The Right Stuff

Here is a guest post I wrote for Richard Lindesay’s blog
 http://www.richardlindesay.com/2011/10/its-time-for-right-stuff.html

TUESDAY, 4 OCTOBER 2011
by  Arthur Partridge @AyPee
http://aypee.me



I have been an NLP Practitioner since 2005 and progressed through the Society of NLP programme to Trainer in 2009 but my curiosity started in 1957.

My next door neighbour used to hold lots of dinner parties and his trick was to hypnotise one of his guests. I was 7 and I have a very vague recollection of seeing a bookpublished by Penguin books on his bookshelf. I was fascinated. He learnt how to hypnotise people from a book?

Time moved on and I became very successful in my life and my passion was Basketball: playing it, refereeing it, managing it, running committees to develop it ….. too much to do … too little time ….. and at some point I set my highest value at ‘Time’ and even, to this day, I run my ‘Time’ value programme when assessing most anything.
How was I going to fit it all in? It will just have to go on a list until the time is right.

I love the feeling as I say “It’s Time” as the feeling rises up through my body and a state of excitement  occurs when its time to do x from my list!


In 1998, I attended the Landmark Forum and went on to do their ‘Curriculum for living’.  Coming out of that with a real load off! … I offloaded meaning by the ton….
There was all this stuff that meant stuff to me and all it was was stuff!
.. I had stuffed up my life with stuff that meant stuff to me …..
Landmark have this distinction that “Life is empty and meaningless and that doesn’t mean anything” and I Got It!  ….. None of it meant anything to anybody other than me. It was my STUFF …. I STUFFED UP!

Suddenly without all that stuff and with a whole raft of distinctions around language and how I could interpret words and actions and so I went onto read (somebody else’s) stuff. 

Read?! ……  I hadn’t got time for that! Better put that on the list then with the other stuff!
I would read from the top left of a page to the bottom right on the next and think, what did I just read? and have to start again! … But NOW I was reading these great books and the 2, in particular that had me say “Wow!” to myself were: Louise L Hay’s “You can Heal Your Life” and Neale Donald Walsche’s trilogy: “Conversations with God”

There it all was! It was different to The Forum but it was the same. There was the confirmation. They were right! 

My new philosophy for living was now set and still runs to this day:
There is only here, there is only now, it doesn’t mean anything, there is nothing in this nanosecond called now, life just occurs to me … and … Its Time … because I say 
I describe this as Paradox Management and the Power of Nothing and it sits on a bed of language.
You see, Nothing is important (note the tonal ambiguity you can use pronouncing  each of those words ) and in life we constantly have to manage paradoxes – things aren't what they seem and yet are so obviously what they are.
Life all about balance not happiness!!!!!
I saw John DeMartini talk and there it was again! …and that was his stuff … he gave examples of how life is always in balance and the design of things is to break down
For example: Things are going really well at work and yet life at home is crap … or … have you ever noticed that when that extra little bit of money comes along and you get excited at the thought of what you can do with it, you  get a flat tyre …or… when somebody invites to an event that is really exciting, somebody else desperately needs your help at exactly the same time?
Stuff Up break DOWN 
It’s the way life works, it tells you when Its Time. It just occurs
The norm is for people and parents , in particular,  to say things like “Oh, well, as long as they are happy” and usually as an expectation for someone else, not themselves. I call that a death sentence!! 
Someone else’s expectation has been bestowed on you to be happy – life balances out and so the best you can achieve is to be happy 50% of the time BUT the problem now comes that you have to monitor your ‘happiness performance’ to meet the expectation. 
“Am I happy about this?” … “Do I have the right to be happy at a time like this” … and whilst all that serious ‘Happy monitoring’ is going on you can’t be happy. So, if , when you are happy, you check to see if you are happy, you have to stop being happy while you check ………. you’re STUFFed! 
The 50% each way balance will probably end up ‘40% happy : 60% not’ ratio … and then .. people get unhappy about that! (and pile on more stuff!) At this point the Stuff, being so old by now, begins to rot down, smell and life becomes crap all because someone wanted you to be happy (?!?!?!?!?!?!?!) 
Between 1998 and 2000, I doubled my salary and retired, I retired from the Basketball court in 1998 at the age of 48 – It Was Time! and there was Nothing, to stop me. I was in a Stuff free zone and the energy flowed – money is just another form of energy and there wasn’t any Stuff in its way, either. 
I don’t do New Year’s resolutions but I do do New Year’s promises. If there is no stuff, then there is no stuff to resolve. There’s nothing so I can do anything.
So in 2001 my promise was to take 1 or 2 things from my list and DO them because It’s Time and there’s nothing to stop me. I’ve always wanted to do this stuff

2001 Golf and Yoga – did yoga for 7 years! Must dust the clubs off!
2002 What was my spirituality? What did I believe about God?
2003 ….
………..2005 “What am I going to do this year?” Hypnosis! Always wanted to do that! It’s Time I went for Hypnosis and NLP occurred to me and with it the consolidation of language skills

You see, Richard said to me “I find that you are good at getting good people to know you and to talk about you ... maybe you have something to share about that?”
I just did. 
When you have control of your time with no stuff, energy flows and energy attracts ‘like energy’ and I like energy.
The finest energy in life is people energy.
Offload your crap, help them get rid of their crap, good people appear and life just occurs HAPPILY, all by itself.

Wednesday, 12 October 2011

The Boss

from jokesgallery.com amongst others

A manager was complaining in a staff meeting that he wasn't getting any respect.

Later that morning he went out and got a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss".
He then taped it to his office door.

Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said.
"Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"

Credit: Free images from acobox.com

Sunday, 9 October 2011

Priceless Experiences

 

From Sean Malarkey’s ShareAQuote



"If we could sell our experience for what they cost us, we'd all be millionaires."

~ Abigail Van Buren

 

Abigail Van Buren

The pen name of Pauline Phillips who created the Dear Abby  advice column in 1956 , run today by her daughter, Jeanne Phillips

The pen name, Abigail Van Buren, is a combination of Biblical figure, Abigail from the Book of Samuel and the surname of  U.S. President Martin Van Buren.

Bio from wikipedia

The Beautiful World

Great pictures. As the author says :

"The world was beautiful before we touched it.

Now look what we've done.

I guess i just couldn't handle reality, so here I made my own."


Saturday, 1 October 2011

Blog on the Tyne: Neuro Hypnotic Repatterning (NHR) 10 Years On

Blog on the Tyne: Neuro Hypnotic Repatterning (NHR) 10 Years On: A short interview with Kate Benson, Director of Meta NLP and organiser of specialist NHR trainings in the UK For those of us in the in...

Tuesday, 27 September 2011

The Heads up on Rapport

“So the Jock said to his unsuspecting listening audience:

Yeah, if they look to the left , they’re lying!”
That was in the blog post from 5th August and so was
“wait until you get onto studying what people do with their heads yet alone the words they use!”
and here it is. You see …

A nod’s as good as a wink

well sort of…...
Much is made of body matching to get into rapport with someone:
full body matching, half body matching, mirroring, etc. but actually it is much more simple than that!
Use your head
You don't have to sit in the same way as the person you are talking to
you don’t have to shape your body into a posture that they are using
you don’t have to follow their movements to get into rapport although it helps and sometimes there is no alternative, such as young love where you just have to mirror and match! Smile

In "That's a Lie" we looked at what people do with their  eyes, which means we can also quickly glean what is their prime sense. Whether it is Visual or Kinaesthetic or Auditory or Gustatory/Olfactory.


It is fairly safe to assume that if a person repeatedly looks up, whilst in conversation, they are probably accessing remembered (Vr Visual remembered) or constructed images (Vc Visual constructed) and therefore, their strongest sense is probably Visual.
To gain rapport with a Visual you could start using visual words and upward eye movements also. BUT you MUST Calibrate – look at their repeating physiological patterns and test them.

What people do with sensual input is part of the way they use their Representational Systems - the systems they use to represent their reality (Sight, Sound, Touch,Smell, Taste and Self Talk)  and the sub modalities, which is how they use their senses  e.g. how bright, how sharp, how loud, etc.
Some people are “Digital”, which means that they offer very little sensual output.
Digitals don’t tend to use sensual words like “see”, “feel”, “sound” etc.
They tend to have a fixed gaze and they may appear to be “in a world of their own” (they are probably in trance).
If a Digital were to explain something in great detail, they would not notice that most of their audience falling asleep – anybody know a professor like that?
Since they offer  little sensual  output they receive little sensual engagement. If someone’s senses are not engaged, they usually go to sleep!
If you think Digitals are nerdy or offbeat, consider how someone who is sensually engaged, behaves, in particular, their language patterns.
I am high Visual so I say things like “do you SEE my point”, as if there is actually a physical sharp object floating in mid air that you can see!!!!!  Clearly illogical.
I am visually representing that I want to know that you understand.
In a conversation with a Digital, I  would get bored very quickly and start LOOKING around because I need visual stimulation quick!
T
he visual sense has the highest velocity (Sensual Bandwith as  David McCandless describes it in an earlier blog post 
I just couldn’t see the Digital’s point and I would probably end up LOOKING for Mischief Open-mouthed smile
I can’t get into rapport through language or eye movement. Fortunately ….

Rapport is easy, all you need to do is use your head

Meet and Greet

as they say hello watch how they move their head
Do the same back
For example, they may flick their head up and down in a quick, small, nod and then swallow
Do the same back
They may throw their head slightly forward and tilt it downwards so that one of their eyes gets closer to you and is in slightly lower position than before. They may wink at the same time (the smooth talking Hello ladies manoeuvre Winking smile)
Do the same back

Active and Passive

People use their heads in big movements or subtle movements. If they strongly agree they may nod their head strongly up and down – Active - or they may just wink once – Passive. You have to observe how they do Active and how they do Passive – Calibrate

Negative and Positive

Similarly Negative and Positive head movements are distinct like Active and Passive head movements, for example:
left to right and back again repeatedly (shaking one’s head) to represent disagreement - a negative response and upward and downwards (nodding) to represent yes – a positive response.
You have to observe how they do Negative and how they do Positive – Calibrate

Decision Making Strategies


Observe the series of head movements of people while they make decisions and you will usually find they move their heads in a particular pattern.

It may start by a look up to the right, switch to a look upwards to the left and then back again before looking down to their right, a Passive Positive movement of the head.
This pattern will usually the same for all decisions that they make but you have to observe how they do their Decision Making Strategy – Calibrate
Taking the above example, the person:
  1. probably constructed a visual image (Vc they imagined how the result of the decision looks)
  2. pictured a memory that relates to the decision (Vr)
  3. checked that image against their constructed image (Vc)
  4. asked themselves how they felt about their decision (Ai) and
  5. finally nodded (Passive Positive) as they agreed with their decision
The advantage of observing someone’s decision making strategy is that you can physically make the same movement pattern if you want to influence them
i.e. hurry up or cause a decision when one needs to be made – i.e. they cause them to be in Rapport with you.

Past and Present Orientation

Similarly observe how someone uses their head whilst they relate to past events. 
Most people never actually tell you what happened. They tell you the story of what happened, which means their focus is internal and they are usually in a trance state.

They may tilt their head left, while they are speaking.
To interrupt their Past Trance subtly nod your head in the opposite direction - This is a suggestion to their unconscious that should step back into the present where you can suggest by your head movement that they need to make a decision by using Their Decision Making Strategy on them.
and there’s more ……..




image wikipedia

Sunday, 25 September 2011

Oh well, I asked

Facebook 25th September

image
Arthur Partridge
I am overdue to post a joke to my blog. Would anybody like to guest blog one?
CLEAN PC please!

Matt Partridge Two cannibals eating a clown, one turns to other and says 'does this taste funny to you?' Boom boom tsch!!

Thursday, 22 September 2011

Ford Siesta

dreamstime_l_7429494

Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving
~ Unknown

source various

Monday, 19 September 2011

In a Word (and more) NOT

I was just thinking about Facebook Posts that I have read, a phone call that I made and something else that I read, in the last 24 hours
We all throw caveats into what we say (or write)
literally throw! Just like ‘Throw Away’ lines.
These lines are like Fishing Lines. We throw the line out because we are fishing for something.  Dr Phil et al, would say we are seeking a Pay Off and I think maybe a Let off is probably more frequent and possibly more accurate.
The great thing about language is it’s impact!
At whatever level, all language is a declaration of intent and that language comes out of us at such high speed. Although it has structure and logic and reasoning, most of it has to come from the unconscious thinking because it is simply too fast to be processed consciously and delivered simultaneously. Its a skill and
all skills are unconscious
You don’t think about the skilful things you do, you just do them.
Ever driven to a destination and when you got there you don’t remember driving there?
You exercised your driving skill. You didn’t think about it.
BUT the great thing about the Caveat is its negativity, because 
the unconscious cannot process negatives
That happens in your conscious thinking, not your unconscious thinking.
As an example, let’s review a typical greeting conversation:
"How are you?”
"I’m not too bad” –
there’s the Caveat.
The person uses badness as the measure just in case things go wrong. They declared a expectation that because things are (based on) bad then if things go bad its ok. Its a Let Off. They can’t be disappointed if things go wrong because they were almost expecting it.
What does the unconscious process?
Because it doesn't process the negative ‘not’, it processes
"I’m not too bad”  
That person just told themself that they are too bad
So why is this useful?
Because, if the unconscious cannot process negatives and all skills are unconscious then effective use of negatives can programme us positively!
Try these:
"How are you?”
"I’m not too good” –
strange how saying that you are not too good, feels good.  Have you ever noticed that?
"How are you?”
"I’m not too happy” –
makes you feel happy just saying that you’re not. Have you ever noticed that?

How are you?”
"I’m not too wealthy” –
notice how rich that feels.
It is a ‘Pattern Interrupt’. It’s not in the normal pattern of conversation. It  interrupts it. The brain picks out ‘not’ and ‘too’ for attention but the conversation has moved on so the abnormal not and too  hang around in the conscious waiting to be  processed.
Unconsciously you hear “I’m too wealthy”. That is an unusual thing to say and has to be processed so it can be understood. You’ve just programmed yourself because
effective suggestions are skilfully delivered to the unconscious, unconsciously
To the other party you are too wealthy and that doesn’t make sense. What does too mean? That hangs around in their mind with an association between you and wealth, whilst they try to work it out.  Since they are unlikely to have the time to think about it long enough and there are more important things to think about, it will probably stick.
The word too is too general to be given a value and so the part that they do understand is left behind – I’m wealthy
To them You are wealthy because ultimately they won’t process the rest because it’s confusing and they haven’t got time.
So, how am I today? I’m NOT having too much fun
How are you? 

Global Village Champions Foundation: Singer Aims to Help World's Hungry

Global Village Champions Foundation: Singer Aims to Help World's Hungry: Singer aims to help world's hungry - Stuff.co.nz Nelson singer-songwriter Aly Cook has joined the ranks of Celine Dion, Michael Jordan, J...

Thursday, 15 September 2011

Mature Wine

cartoon[1]
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age.

The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

source coolfunnyquotes.com image beentheretastedthat.blogspot.com

Monday, 12 September 2011

Staying out of Trouble


Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble

~ Frank Tyger

U.S. Nationally published editorial cartoonist, columnist and humourist for the Trenton Times -http://www.franktyger.info/frank-tyger-biography.htm

Sean Mallarkey’s shareaquote.com
Share a Quote Spread the Word

Saturday, 10 September 2011

Just Social Know

Just so you know (Just Social Know) - I love ambiguity!

It allows me to do my job and talk in the unconscious mind of my client  while their conscious mind works out which meaning to use. I can do that because I am an Expert! As it happens, a Master Neuro Linguistic Practitioner, fast becoming a Social Media Coach, amongst other things

Experts

Social Media usage grows and with it, experts arise. So what is an “Expert”?

An expert is a person or entity that is recommended by a third party to you and then you either accept the third party’s judgement and agree that the person called the “Expert” is an expert or not.

Whether they have the knowledge to back up their expertise is not part of the the initial equation. That is second tranche
When you decide they are an expert, you then open up your listening and may be your mind, to their output.

I read a lot from and get advise from lots of  Social Media experts and I am already seeing contradiction. It is inevitable and happens in every field of expertise. I wouldn’t trust any NLP Practitioner that didn’t question me!

What follows contradiction is confusion. However, installing confusion is a very useful state if you wish to influence someone. I use confusion when dealing with clients. Again, it preoccupies their conscious mind while I work on their unconscious state.

What is Social Media?

To my  mind, Social Media is whatever you agree it to be with your network. Agreement is the key and your network is who you do it with - not the expert. You, with them, are the expert on your sociability!

Lack of Agreement = Assumption

I like  Landmark Education’s thinking! I read it as Agreement first!
Even if there is no agreement, as they say “Having agreement in the face of no agreement”.  Why do I mention this? Because Lack of Agreement = Assumption

If there is lack of agreement then assumption is all that's left and as they say
“Assumption makes an ass out of you and me!”

Assumption will eventually lead to breakdown and Breakdown will lead to Breakthrough and the cycle starts again, usually leaving casualties, .i.e. people left behind or jobless and much more severe states like poverty and starvation! *

* see below for how to be supportive

So, in the conflicting views that I get about Social Media and what it is supposed to be, I have to agree my values with my fellow posters or Tweeps.

Here, I go along with Thomas Power of Ecademy and Mick Say of  Online Marketing Academy, amongst others. You have to

be Open, Random and Supportive

Open, Random and Supportive versus Closed Selective and Controlling

Daniel Priestley - Author, entrepreneur and international speakerI recently heard Daniel Priestly speak about Social Media.
Social Media is a phenomena – it hasn’t happened before, we are in Social Revolution.

When  Wikileaks broke  the reaction of the UK Prime Minister, amongst others, was to close down his Twitter account (Closed Selective and Controlling) and not to to communicate in that way. He didn’t capitalise on the event, he shut down.

I think I understand why but what was the message? (In the face of no agreement, only assumption is left.)

If I choose, I can assume that I am not to be trusted with what he knows. That it is not for my ears and I am just not that important enough – I can make up almost any negative reason I like.
The point is there is no agreement so assumption is the only alternative.

I agree with Daniel Priestley’s view  that we are migrating from The Industrial Revolution to The Social Revolution.

Industrial to Social Revolution

The Industrial Revolution has led to Business needing controls, selecting what it outputs to protect its image or brand, having controls in place to keep its design intact, managed by systems!

At some point Customer Processing transformed into the misnomer Customer Service – Tweeps and Peeps our needs are being processed through systems not relationships. Businesses are having closed relationships with us.

Socially, never before has the individual had so much clout to change business, society, politics - you name it - so quickly!
Socially, never before has an individual had the clout to promote their cause, beliefs, values -  you name it -  so quickly!

To get an idea of the velocity, look at David McCandless’s work  - http://aypee.wordpress.com/2010/09/23/the-beauty-of-data-visualization/
He says, “Let the dataset change the Mind Set” and refers to the broadband of our senses, where Visual and Kinaesthetic input lead the charge.
Social media uses our senses and Visual and Kinaesthetic are high impact!

We are amidst a social revolution which some businesses have capitalised and most politicians have not.
Now I believe there is a danger that business will try to own Social Media and determine what it is and so will politics (Control)

The recent UK Riots has seen Politics try to restrict Social MediaGood luck with that, by the way – as if Social Media is to blame for the rioting (Closed Selective and Controlling).
The rioters that used Social Media to communicate their sad operations to others were using tools of communication – you can’t blame a hammer for the damage it may cause. It is the person that is holding the hammer that inflicts the damage and they are inflicting it with no agreement.


No Agreement = No Clout = Assumption = Breakdown = Influence = Clout = Revolution


With the velocity that Social Media has, there is very little point in being Closed Selective and Controlling, any more. It won’t work!

So the information super highway has evolved into the Social Super Highway and influence is the key to success. Influence can only happen through Relationships (Kinaesthetic) and Relationships function inside of community (Social Networks).

The relationships require sensual input. Taking Sensual bandwidths as the priorities for influencing me with your Social output, you need to stimulate me with :

  1. Visual input
  2. Kinaesthetic input
  3. Auditory input
  4. Gustatory Olfactory

See http://aypee.wordpress.com/2011/08/05/thats-a-lie/

It is pointless to add  control to the process!

No Agreement = No Clout = Assumption = Breakdown = Influence = Clout
= Revolution  = <<Open, Random Supportive>>

+ <<Closed Selective and Controlling>>

= No Agreement = No Clout = Assumption = Breakdown = Influence = Clout = Revolution = <Open, Random Supportive>> again

Just So You Know @AyPee says Social Media

  • is whatever you agree  with your network
  • needs to be Open, Random and Supportive
  • is about relationships then influence
  • needs to stimulate Visual, Kinaesthetic and Auditory responses in that order

and without control

  • needs to be open to any response so it can learn and grow

 

That's my brand but only if you agree


* please support the work of 


images warrencass.com
aypee.wordpress.com
dailymail.co.uk
wikipedia.org

Tuesday, 6 September 2011

A change is as good as a rest


 


Doctor, doctor, I feel like a 10 Dollar note.

Well go and buy something then,
the change will do you good

 

 

source unknown
picture various

Saturday, 3 September 2011

Finishing up

"Doing nothing is very hard to do ... you never know when you're finished"

~ Leslie Nielsen

Sadly Leslie Nielsen died last year . Incredible (almost childish) humour but what a role model for life. Energetically happy and inciting happiness in others.

Surely this is the end of an era – “Don’t call me shirley!”

Picture from Wikipedia

Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Showing up


“God does not ask your ability, nor your inability. God only asks your availability”

~ Mary Kay Ash
founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics

80 per cent of success is just showing up

It was  Woody Allen  who said "80 per cent of success is just showing up".

Over the years I have had many ‘almost appointments’ - appointments where a potential client wants help with their problem but as soon as it comes to booking a time, those  fearful words: “I’ll look at my diary and get back to you” are uttered and of course, I know that they won’t (Yet!)

However, they should be congratulated on taking a first step towards confronting their fear – because that is what it is and fear as Neale Donald Walshe says is

False Evidence Appearing Real

The tragedy is that by not  showing up wherever the things that confront you, deprives you off an experience that is no where near as scary as you may think and if I get to play with you ( FUN! When I say Play I mean play time ) we are going to have fun!

But Real joy comes when Fear turns to Fascination!DSC01073

We all have Fear of some description. It is part of survival and shouldn’t be taken lightly!

However, Just  showing up in the place of fear, as opposed to confronting fear allow for easy and effortless and permanent changes to happen.

Clearly work has to be done but it is how it is done that is the most important element of all. Lets try ….

FUN!

There are common fears, such as the fear of Public Speaking, the fear of Heights, the fear of Snakes, the fear of SpidersDSC01030

There are many ways to dispel fear. The most famous is the  Fast Phobia Cure which can be used to combat simple fears also.
It is painless and usually very amusing to the client – basically we re-programme how they use the information that they receive from their senses. 
There are a number of versions but generally it works like this:

Get person to imagine being in a cinema
Ask them to vividly imagine everything they can about going to the cinema – the sights, sounds, smells... is the smell of popcorn coming to you, right now? … feelings, tastes … still thinking of popcorn, by any chance?
Remember as a child, being excited about going to the cinema … can you remember one now?

(  Did you notice that question was actually a statement – a command. We are cranking up the senses. There’s good stuff to come! )

Get person to imagine taking seat in the cinema – “notice how it feels, notice the sounds and the smells and the other people” etc. etc.

( crank up the senses even more because there is great stuff to come! )

“Notice how you feel. Warm, cosy, excited … Can’t wait for the movie to start! … and just notice how safe you are! … Can’t wait for the movie to start … Bet you are feeling really excited right now!

( note the command )

”Now look at the screen and imagine your self back at the time when you were first scared DSC00054of a spider”…  Right here, right now, You’re perfectly safe ….
Imagine yourself in the movie and notice how safe you are … Play the movie forwards to the end and notice how safe you were at the end of the movie just like you were safe at the beginning Just like you are now!

“Now play the movie backwards, things always look funny when they run backwards, just like the old movies.
Play the movie forwards again … and backwards … and forwards … and backwards”

( I love pushing this exercise almost to the limit, repeating until I hear a laugh or a giggle or at least see a smile )

Hold on! I’ve got some great music for our movie!”

I reach for my iPod, plug in into my speakers. Find Yakety Sax by Boots Randolph– The theme tune of The Benny Hill Show.

“Imagine floating out of your seat into the screen so you are in the movie nowNotice how safe you are

( the commands flow quicker and more often - “You are Safe!”)

I grab my remote and issue the command “Play the movie Forwards!”
I hit play – the music starts
I hit pause – “Stop! Quick run the movie backwards!” I hit play
I hit pause …  “Stop! Play it forwards”
I hit play … “Stop!” … I hit pause
”Backwards! Quickly!” … I hit play
”STOP!” … I hit pause
”FORWARDS! QUICKLY!”
I hit play
“Backwards” .. “forwards” .. “backwards” .. “forwards” …
allowing less and less time for the movie to run. By this stage they will be running the movie at double speed if not quicker!

“NOW! Float out of the movie back to your seat and run the movie” … I play the
music …
“NOW! Backwards! Watch yourself in the movie” “Forwards Watch yourself”
“Backwards. Watch yourself!” ……. etc etc

“AND float out of you seat into the projectionist room” … “You are the projectionist” …
“Start the movie” … “Run it backwards Watch yourself watching yourself” … “Forwards Watch yourself watching yourself”
Watch yourself watching the movie!
”Backwards”
… “Forwards” … “Watch yourself” … “backwards” … “forwards” … “Keep watching yourself!”

( By this stage I’m usually laughing, they are usually laughing and my thumb hurts! )

“Backwards” .,. “Forwards” … “NOW! Float back to your seat!”
”Play it backwards”
… “forwards” … “backwards” … “forwards” etc etc …. “AND STOP!”

I kill the music … there is silence … “How do you feel?”

Whilst the whole process has gone on, every time I’ve seen a smile of heard a laugh I have touched the client on the arm or shoulder, somewhere that is not intrusive, anchoring the good feeling and at the same time laughed or made a comedic noise.

At this stage just by making the comedic noise I can usually invoke a smile or laugh at will.

The brain cannot run fear and laugh at the same time successfully  – I know the job is done when the client wants to go find a spider and that happened more than once!

So, How are you feeling now? Did you take yourself through the process?

Just show up!

your senses probably gave you some false evidence

 

images AyPeeCo and talkbackthames.tv

Sunday, 28 August 2011

Sleeping on the job

What to say when caught asleep on Friday afternoons:


“I wasn't sleeping, I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm”

source unknown 
picture photobucket.com

Thursday, 25 August 2011

Don’t!

From my friend Belinda Altenroxel’s Facebook Page:


Don't criticise, condemn or complain 
~ Dale Carnegie

Dale Breckenridge Carnegie

  • Born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey on November 24, 1888 in Missouri
  • Writer, lecturer and the developer  of courses in personal skills
  • Author of the famous  How to Win Friends and Influence People

Although this book was published in 1936, it remains core to personal development today.

He believed it possible to change people's behaviour by your reaction to them.
Although he died in November  1955, he is still recognised one of the experts of personal development.

Source Wikipedia

Monday, 22 August 2011

Riotous Fun

Topical, given the UK Rioting that has occurred

Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.
Proverbs 22:24-25

Influence is not delivered to the conscious mind; logic may be, but influence is processed at the unconscious level and moves into conscious thinking where reason and logic become applied – and Justification.
At whatever level the rioters were influenced

Interesting then that the use of Social Media comes into the frame, seen as inciting riotous action because Social Media at every level will influence somebody.
There are sites like
http://klout.com and http://peerindex.net that measure exactly that

Think on Social Media wrights and influence well

Image Daily Mail On-line